Most of us have mean inner critics that when we dig deep enough, have benevolent functions, good intentions, that kind of thing (check out this article on protective functions of inner critics for more on this). But some people have critics that go beyond mean, and...
After experiencing my first root canal last week, I can still safely say that looking for a job is my least favourite thing to do. In fact one of my dearest hopes is to never have to apply for a job again. I don’t like writing applications, but even worse, I hate job...
How do you define self confidence? Is it a feeling you have sometimes (or wish you had)? How do you know when you are confident and when you aren’t? Defining self confidence is a complex thing, because well, confidence is a complex thing. We tend to simplify it into...
I’ve been thinking about procrastination for a couple of years now (a little bit ironic that it’s taken me this long to write about it I know). I’ve come across the theory that procrastination is sometimes intuition about right timing. That if you keep putting...
I learnt a very personal and tragic lesson about guilt and shame over Christmas. I notice it with many of my clients, and in myself sometimes; it’s the tendency to turn guilt into shame. It often happens so quickly we don’t even notice it, and we don’t notice the...
As promised in Part 4 in this series this instalment of the Inner Critic Expose’ is all about critics with a benevolent, protective function. For most people, the dynamics of inner criticism have an underlying benevolent function, although there is one exception (more...
‘You’re too disorganised.’ ‘I have three young children, it’s not my fault.’ ‘You don’t forward plan enough.’ ‘Life is just too busy, I have no time for planning; I’m too busy doing.’ ‘Other people can do it – it’s a matter of self-discipline.’ ‘I know, I know, I’m...
Until recently, I thought I was a bit odd for finding ‘Inspirational Quotes’ so irritating. After accepting a little oddness in myself, I starting thinking about why they’re so irritating…and now I find them irritating AND heartbreaking,...
How we think about ourselves and our experiences matters. It needs some thinking about. Thinking about thinking…yes it’s a bit circular, but we can’t really get out of this catch 22, so let’s have a go. In Part Two of my blog series on inner...
No one really wants to notice how much they are criticised internally because basically it sucks. It’s painful and for the most part we can get along OK by ignoring it. But what if you can’t get along OK like this? What if inner criticism is stopping you...
